Imagine This
A businessman drives a car onto the petrol station forecourt. The forecourt attendant approaches the car and the businessman says,
"Replenishing the automobile with petroleum condensate is strongly recommended."
The garage attendant is likely to respond with a Billy Connolly expletive, 'F... off'.
Alternative Wordings
Here is a list of possible wordings that the businessman might use. Which one would you use?
What Works?
Which of the above alternatives, or any others you may think of, is effective communication between the businessman and the garage attendant? And when you have decided, ask these questions:
Real Example
Here is a real example of a sentence sent to me by a subject matter expert for content to appear on a public web site:
As interoperability involves the use of several XML schema types, composed of groups of related schema, and there are many circumstances in which an agency might mix and match schemas in transactions, it is likely that there will be metadata tag names that are not unique to a particular namespace; as transactions become more complex, there is increasing need to declare the related namespaces.
Let's look at what we have:
My Rewording
Without wanting to totally start again, here's how I edited it,
Interoperability involves the use of several XML schema types, composed of groups of related schema. There are many circumstances in which an agency might mix and match schemas in transactions. It is likely there will be metadata tag names that are not unique in a particular namespace.
As transactions become more complex, there is increasing need to declare the related namespaces.
How does this compare:
See Also |